Before you read any further, I just want to say that I am not proud of writing this.
And, as far as, the WHY I am bringing this today is concerned; It is solely because I need to spill the beans evenly on the table.
For the sake of better clarity. For the sake of justice in unjustness, fairness on unfair bias-ness.
For the sake of impartiality, and more importantly to move on.
I have, have to let the words flow; have, have to let the feelings follow.
. . .
I must be the legend of the break-ups.
A Picaso of ‘Letting go ‘ sorts.
I confess, I have had many failedrelationships, so..… many.
Sure, I broke hearts. Seemingly, manipulated with feelings and just walked away without a scratch.
And for all intents and purposes & inhumanely, in all likelihood — no fucks given.
This, this right here, presumably could be one version, the one side of the story, isn’t it?
Perhaps yours’ side.
And Theirs.
. . .
On the other hand or say, what about — I have justly swallowed the pain that the deafening vacuum, the pleased misunderstandings, the mocking dilemmas and the ill allegations had swimmingly created.
What about lugging all the weighing judgements, the criticisms, the hard slap of uncooked blames and opinions, however, still walking & wandering the empty aisle, in restless, utter silence. Not to mention, what about the badly wailing, waiting me, in hopes of the day to arrive whenin, i could recuperate from The End Of The ‘Moving On’ Game, once and for all.
p.s. not blaming anybody here, not even trying to justify myself.
More or less, unpacking all the condensed emotions and denuding vulnerability.
Lastly, to those who left the thread of my life, remember, you are all beautiful, beautiful souls here.
For all one knows, It might just be, thefault in our starsthing.
Today marks my first full year of everyday music-blogging for musicpervs.
With little or no supporters at all, I am very much happy with the results of this unbelievably tiresome yet mindful journey.
Noteworthy —
those sleepless nights,
the internet subscription hustles of many 11PMs,
those blank pages, blank ink, blank mind moments,
a promise,
the commitment to keep,
sweat, and the perseverance stories,
the discipline to perpetuate, the incommodious, torturing, tormenting chronologies,
yes, all noteworthy.
Despite, the desire to quit every single day (yes, despite what the hell am I doing algia!) — seeing, feeling not anybody really giving a shit about what I put online was genuinely heartbreaking … but awakened, now I can say, I am happy, finally, that I didn’t quit.
Lastly, decisively, signing off for some time now.
