Best Of EDM 2018 Rewind

We shared a womb together.

We grew to the same beat of our mother’s heart.

We shared same bed, the same blankets for years.

We grew to the same fabric of life’s celebrations, the sadnesses and an ever surprising, ever, ever inspiring muse.

 

Your quintessential soul.

Our common roots.

Your love for this life.

Our ever-so-weird playlists.

Your ‘I got your back’ friendship.

Our promises of future-do-good.

And sure, your selfless, naked love for lucky few.

And, our good spirited pen; the papers too.

 

All remains.

All will remain.

 

Twins by birth.

Twins, beyond an awaiting death.

 

 

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You Say – Lauren Daigle

“Some people are more certain of everything than I am of anything.” – Robert Rubin, In an Uncertain World

 

Another writer, Robin Stern in her book ‘The Gaslight Effect: How to Spot and Survive the Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life’ went to explain —

“Gaslighting is when someone wants you to do what you know you shouldn’t and to believe the unbelievable.”

Luckily, I had stumbled upon this so commonplace minefield via one of the podcast episodes from Brilliant Idiots.

So, yes, I knew the game, the rules, the way in, the way out and the backdoor and the way around.

Thanks to my curiosity muscle again, I did nit pick many grains of wisdom from the book Ms. Stern wrote on the topic.

And, I still wedge back and forth as I observe/assess/notice/examine the Gaslight in full ruthless, senseless, shameless discourse.

 .           .           .

Three of my most favorite masterpieces from her book —

A) “Don’t ask yourself, “Who’s Right?” Ask yourself, “Do I like being treated this way?”

and 

B)“1. You are constantly second-guessing yourself. 2. You ask yourself, “Am I too sensitive?” a dozen times a day. 3. You often feel confused and even crazy at work. 4. You’re always apologizing to your mother, father, boyfriend, boss. 5. You wonder frequently if you are a “good enough” girlfriend/wife/employee/friend/daughter. 6. You can’t understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you aren’t happier. 7. You buy clothes for yourself, furnishings for your apartment, or other personal purchases with your partner in mind, thinking about what he would like instead of what would make you feel great. 8. You frequently make excuses for your partner’s behavior to friends and family. 9. You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don’t have to explain or make excuses. 10. You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself. 11. You start lying to avoid the put-downs and reality twists. 12. You have trouble making simple decisions. 13. You think twice before bringing up certain seemingly innocent topics of conversation. 14. Before your partner comes home, you run through a checklist in your head to anticipate anything you might have done wrong that day. 15. You have the sense that you used to be a very different person—more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed. 16. You start speaking to your husband through his secretary so you don’t have to tell him things you’re afraid might upset him. 17. You feel as though you can’t do anything right. 18. Your kids begin trying to protect you from your partner. 19. You find yourself furious with people you’ve always gotten along with before. 20. You feel hopeless and joyless.”

and

C) “You should never listen to criticism that is primarily intended to wound, even if it contains more than a grain of truth.”

 .           .           .

There’s always a tactical, logical, surgical procedure to trace flaws or misconceptions in anybody’s opinion. Even your own.

My mere advice, “Never buy it, if it smells.”

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Quiet Eyes – Axel Flóvent

Few projects i’m invested in —

how to breathe properly.

how to listen intently.

how to be comfortable with the uncomfortable.

how to not try too hard.

how to let go gracefully.

how to grow humbly.

how to write properly.

how to read as many.

… cultivating gratitude.

… solidifying good habits.

… nurturing empathy muscles.

… do weird shits (breaking fixated identity),

… mastering unfuckwithablility.

 and more importantly, how to live life well.

p.s. please find the Original link to the song right here

p.p.s. Roman philosopher Seneca’s spectacular 2,000-year-old treatise On the Shortness of Life  — a poignant reminder of what we so deeply intuit yet so easily forget and so chronically fail to put into practice.

Seneca writes:

Putting things off is the biggest waste of life: it snatches away each day as it comes, and denies us the present by promising the future. The greatest obstacle to living is expectancy, which hangs upon tomorrow and loses today. You are arranging what lies in Fortune’s control, and abandoning what lies in yours. What are you looking at? To what goal are you straining? The whole future lies in uncertainty: live immediately.

 

And, so,

Thusly.

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Space – Siv Jakobsen

There is no pain in falling in love. There’s a phenomenal honeymoon effect rolling.

Well, real and slow and debilitating pain is an aftermath of love falling apart,

of numbing heart ache,

of shit hitting the fan.

Now, in your path to a love life.

There you’ll meet two kinds of lovers.

One, would promise to move mountains to make it up to you.

Or, the ones who would promise to just be,     (Gasping)… just be by your side through all thick and thins (Sure, by virtue of persistent conducts and behaviors.)

One would seek compatibility, security, or say in broader spectrum ‘the future’ before diving in.

Or, the ones who would choose a choice to love you without any pre-conditions.

One, who are so full of riches — emotionally and empathetically.

Or, the ones who treats you as they please. (Sometimes as lovers. Sometimes as paltry disposables.)

One, who’s a go-getter, party harder.

Or, the kinds who would rather cuddle you to sleep, at night.

And above all, …

you’ll most likely meet the ones, who would drain you by asking, asking and more of asking.

Or, someone who gives. 

.      .      .

Thanks to this humble girl who introduced me to a movie The perks of being a wallflower   — and now, freely stealing a fraction of lines from the same movie;

Charlie : Mr. Anderson? Can I ask you something?

Bill : Yeah.

Charlie : Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?

Bill : Are we talking about anyone specific?

[Charlie nods] 

Bill : Well, we accept the love we think we deserve.

Charlie : Can we make them know that they deserve more?

Bill : We can try.

.      .      .

Relatable!?

Closing thoughts : In the language of Barry Schwartz from his classic book on choices, The Paradox of Choice, He says:

“Learning to choose is hard. Learning to choose well is harder. And learning to choose well in a world of unlimited possibilities is harder still, perhaps too hard.” – The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz.

Free, hard to chew, unsolicited advice and this is very very important — Choose, … choose the ones who’re somewhere around the gray. The likes of an oscillating pendulum, who bounces back and forth between the edges, to survive and for survival. The ones who finds love and purpose around the delicate balance of imperfections and work on it through and through.

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Older – Sasha Sloan

I can’t get my head around why everyone’s pretending that love is so f*&#!$@ easy.

So much so to an extent that — an urge to blow up a horribly pretended photograph clicks of them and their significant other in social media platforms tops, over enjoying the time together and letting that sink in for the sake of sinking in and sinking in only!

So much so like flaring ❤️ , 😍, 😘 … emojis is assumed to speak volumes today, over real actions and intentions of true and deep love!

 

Perhaps it’s normal norm nowadays.

Perhaps it’s because of our own self-inflicted reality; seeping slowly into our unrealistic love-ought-to-look-like templates.

Perhaps a contrived, consistency bias at play.

Perhaps all because of this fucked, social media validations mess.

 

Atlast, … alas, why ‘lies’ for something so profound, I ask?

 

Whereas, love (romantic ones) indeed is a push and pull hard work between two flawed and naked human beings.

And, true love certainly is not, … NOT a conflict free ones. Or frictionless.

Or without inevitable convolutions and boredom.

Or painful, sweet dispositions.

Or Peaks and Valleys!

 

Why am I writing these, I ask?

A voice calls from within, “Save love from the so-called-love.”

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