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Commitment is tough

Published December 1, 2022 By 8ijay.shrestha

You’re in a ship and it’s sailing across the stormy seas. If you’re hacking holes in it with pickaxe, you should probably pay attention to that before you sink. So, it’s a good idea to keep what stupid you’re doing in mind that you can stop doing it.

Jordan B. Peterson (on Why be virtuous?)
Joji – Die for you

To love truly,

is to commit fully.

Brainfully.

Heartfully.

Soulfully.

Beautifully!

If relationship-tree is to have the trunk, branches, leaves, flower and eventually the fruits — commitment gives it the vitality; commitment transports the essential minirals to nurture it; commitment inflates the breathe of life inside it.

For, commitment is the root, and true love (whatever it means to you) is the whole tree I know.

Alas, commitment is tough. Because, in the world where we live today the road to lust; the path to momentary cravings; the alleyways of impulsive desire; the address of loud, irresistible sexy-ness around is without-a-miss silky and icy. It’s proxy solid. It’s slippery. It’s frictionless. It’s bewitching. It’s bewildering.

At the same magnitude, real love for real is scant.

That, real love for real is limited to only the virtuous which unfortunately, there aren’t many.

To say the least:

Commitment is through which virtues such as trust, loyalty, kindness, sincerity, honesty, care, love, gratitude, gentleness, purity, tolerance, understanding and all the likes flows out and about!

Questions.

Are you committed?

Are you afraid of commitments?

Are you pathologiz-ing your love with lies and fabrication?

Are you for real?

Namaste.

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You’re fine

Published November 24, 2022 By Bijay Shrestha

External things are not the problem. It’s your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now.

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Good Year – Sam Lynch

Off of many things I’ve learned from my mentors, one lesson they all re-iterate over and over again is to never give a thing about —

how people look at you, Good. Bad. Doesn’t matter.

how people have their point-of-view over you,

how people perceive your life choices and decisions,

how people frame you, or worst — want you to fit in their pseudo-made-up-perfect mould,

In less word possible, they say, Give no fu*ks about others’ f*ckeries.

Other’s got their own wastes;

Other’s got their own insecurities;

Other’s got their own story, their own narrative of other’s stories.

For as long as your ego hasn’t gotten the best of you;

For as long as you’re not heedless and that ephemeral, non-existent pride is not up in your arse;

For as long as you’re not damaging anybody — physically, mentally, spiritually;

For as long as you’re not stepping up on somebody else’s lawn;

In less word possible, you should be fine; You are fine!

Namaste.

p.s. for the record MIU published this small newsletter on me this november. Thanks to Solution for the lead!

p.s.s. Practicing — not being afraid.

Bijay Shrestha: Realizing His IT and Personal Potential
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Sad playlist

Published November 17, 2022 By 8ijay.shrestha

Grief begets Gratitude.

~author
Dean Lewis – How Do I Say Goodbye

Two days ago, as I was walking to the gym (it’s a 23 minutes walk) I pulled up my phone, subscribed to Apple music impromptuly, and started listening to the sad playlist. Deliberately!

Not because I had a rough day.

Not because I had been going through a lot.

Not because I was hurt.

Not because I was sad.

Not because I was fucked!

It was solely and only because I wanted to synthesize sadness. Weird. I know.

Unpacking…

I wanted to soak in and soak myself with my forever friendemy — grief.

I wanted to step on the earth, again! Rest. Reflect. Re-calibrate.

Move. Shake.

For, it’s been a while I have been flying in perpetual happiness.

For, it’s been a while I had been living in a foggy, seemingly make-believe-world.

In a nutshell, I wanted to meditate on despair.

I wanted to refresh, relive, re-fill, re-feel my memories as far as my on-and-off relationship with sadness is concerned.

And, to say the least, sadness has always given me purpose.

Bonus — it’s okay to cry!

Namaste.

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I want to write about

Published November 10, 2022 By 8ijay.shrestha

Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut, that held its ground.

David Icke
Yugal Gurung – Timi

I had forgotten I had to show up for musicpervs today. It’s almost 10 past 15pm. Normally I sleep at 9:30pm because i had to wake up at 4:45AM every weekdays.

This evening I had almost two hours long conversation with my uncle who I’ve not had a word for a long, long time. My eyes are yearning to shut themselves off as i type these lines in a pitch dark room, but I know I had to show up.

I wanted to write about meaning of happiness.

I wanted to write about living cheerfully in a mundane, routined life.

I wanted to write about potatoshrestha, and why someone who’s trying to avoid social media is posting just about every little thing that goes in, out and around him.

I wanted to write about why it is important to be mindfully aware about the passing time and the opportunity cost.

I wanted to write about why I will never be perfect but perhaps grind my teeth to be the better version of me than i was yesterday.

I wanted to write about how I deal with my own anxious self.

I wanted to write about why not every what has to have why.

I wanted to write about why it is important to learn to do nothing.

I wanted to write about why it is so important to show up even if it means doing nothing.

Tired eyes.

Uninvited persistent cough

Brain-full of foolishness, dreams & ambitions.

Heart-full of gratitude.

Namaste.

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Seek Discomfort

Published October 27, 2022 By Bijay Shrestha

“Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.” 

The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph by Ryan Holiday

Khwaab – Anumita Nadesan | Big Indie Bang | Bhavi Chandiramani

Part 2

So, after my rejection from US Consulate, Delhi, and before I’d return to Nepal in scars and claw marks, I stomached up enough courage to look at the next available appointment dates. Luckily, I found the closest one and the only appointment at that time in Mumbai.

In just about few days, I packed-up my bag, and I remember paying special attention as I packed up those newly bought pair of clothes I once wore on my first interview along with a pair of shoes my brother had bought me.

I took my brother’s credit card, flew to Mumbai with ample amount of cash I had in reserve with me. Having spent most of my time in palpable despair and having spent most of my times thinking about the thoughts of the thoughts I couldn’t stop thinking about, nothing was planned even until last minute. I knew I had to add pieces myself as soon as I land on Mumbai airport. That, I had to survive Mumbai for next 6 days all on my own, all alone. I confess, it was scary because a local-town boy had never done anything like that before.

In Mumbai, I remember, I spent most of my time practicing in front of the mirror. The mirror where I had also taped a piece of A4 size paper where I wrote ‘Seek Discomfort’ on the largest possible font size right at its center.

I practiced the questions. I practiced from when I woke up to when I passed out unknowingly late at night. I struggled to sleep. Most of the time I couldn’t. I didn’t eat much. I very much rarely left the room except for the one or two times to deliberately get familiar around US Consulate, Mumbai in the pretext of time and walking distance from my hotel. I calculated, it took me approximately 25-28 minutes to chill-walk to the Embassy from the hotel. It took me 13 minutes when I jogged.

Now, here is the caveat to the portion “I said to myself that I’d go to the bottom of the pit — seeking, enduring, embracing every freaking possible discomforts!“, which I had mentioned in Part 1 of this n-part series. That twist is: I had 200% made up my mind to quit the visa interview in Mumbai and run back to Nepal for two clear reasons: One — in my mind I thought the next rejection is on-the-way. I was shit scared, I was forgetting things I practiced. And, I cried a lot … a lot as a consequence of that mental meltdown just two days before the interview. Similarly, the number two reason I vividly remember was — one of the respected priest slash astrologer I had once consulted in Nepal had called me abruptly and told me that he’s shit-certain to help me get the visa in Kathmandu.

Namaste.

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Mindset

Published October 6, 2022 By 8ijay.shrestha

One of the hardest things to do is to separate your work and the effort that you put in from the results. An actor doesn’t control the movie around them. They don’t control what the other actors do. They don’t control the marketing budget. They don’t control the distribution. They could do the role of a lifetime, but the director or editor could mess it up in post-production. If your happiness with your job and your career is dependent on how the movie does at the box office or how the critics respond to your role, you have placed your happiness in the hands of other people, and that’s a recipe for profound disappointment. – Ryan Holiday, The Unmistakable Creative

As It Was (Ambient Cover) – Vancouver Sleep Clinic & Amelia Magdalena

I’m past 30 years of age and in all these many years, off of many things I’ve been grateful to learn; one of them is to understand (and on-time) the leverage of the right mindset.

“Mindset is an “established set of attitudes, esp. regarded as typical of a particular group’s social or cultural values; the outlook, philosophy, or values of a person; (now also more generally) frame of mind, attitude, disposition.”[1] A mindset may also arise from a person’s world view or philosophy of life.”

Wikipedia

Now, if you dig further, you’d want to learn some more about Fixed and Growth mindset by Carol Dweck where in her book “Mindset”, she writes, “success comes from having the right mindset rather than intelligence, talent or education“. Debatable? Yes. But I’m not here to talk you about all that. I am no expert, not even close.

I’m here to share how a simple shift of mindsets can give us a completely different perspective and chances are it might as well give us a different life in the long run.

For example:

Awwwwhhh…I have to go to work or I get to go to work.

I’m not hurt or I’m healing.

I’m not losing or I’m learning.

I’m not anxious or I’m thrilled.

I’m not rejected or I’m redirected.

You see it’s inevitable and It’s beyond our scope of control to stop negative things from happening to us and essentially to stop negative thoughts from swelling up our brain.

Plus, despite, … despite all that, fighting back negative mindset makes them even harder if not done the right way.

Which is why, my two cents here, “Have right stuff in to get the right stuff out.”

Namaste.

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I made it anyway

Published September 30, 2022 By Bijay Shrestha

Our actions may be impeded . . . but there can be no impeding our intentions or dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.

~ Marcus Aurelius

uo
Cold Cold Night – Raghav Meattle

For the last two days I had been occupied in a small treasure hunt.

I was preparing the introductory slides for Sauravi, and as I was adding the pieces and connecting the dots, I had to navigate through tons and tons of old photographs.

Well, I tell you, deliberately digging the past has its perks.

I feel more grateful that things are better today than it was before.

I feel I had been through so much that I can cry and still feel the warmth of perpetual joy.

I feel all the uncertainties and all the terrible shits I’ve been through gave me a unique skill to camouflage my colors; gave me skills to bend my ways as situation unpacked.

Those photographs also had me thinking about that one time when I went through a jungle of monumental panic attacks and heart pacing anxiety.

But then I made it anyway.

We all will.

Namaste.

Hello World – Sauravi
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So much happened

Published September 23, 2022 By 8ijay.shrestha

Grateful ~ author

“My Mind” Ryan Harris 

I almost disappeared for a month from Musicpervs. Not that I have not admitted it before that I don’t promise anymore that I’d post a post every Thursday. Because only after coming to the US, my life completely switched gear from a known-comfortable mode to the strange-survival one. And, I had to juggle many priorities balls. I still do.

For instance, in the last one month or so; so so much have happened. So, so many things have occurred. Let’s scratch the surface here and there. Wrapping up on-campus courses. DE Midterm Exam. Job Interviews. Interview Preparations. Incomprehensible fatigue and mental vomits. Landing offers. Accepting one. Moving to San Francisco. Walking like crazy looking for apartment after apartment. Exploring this awesome city. Investing time and energy on Marketplace. Arranging and adding basic stuffs in the apartment and so so much more.

Most definitely, so much happened!

The most important thing for me personally, however —

is I enjoyed each moment of every moment that passed the time they were passing.

is I was nervous but nervous for the right mission.

is I was afraid but afraid of the right adventure.

Every freaking thing was worth it. Perhaps, someday I’ll write in length about this mixed-bag experience on this anew city.

Namaste!

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El dorado

Published September 15, 2022 By 8ijay.shrestha

There’s joys to be found in words.

There’s word to be found in a joy.

~ author
All In Blue – Logan and Isabel

Samyog and I have been doing too much of ‘El dorado’.

And Sauravi is annoyed for sure. While I can’t tell why I keep saying ‘El dorado’ this, ‘Eldorado’ that, I am sure Samyog doesn’t have answer for himself either.

For me, it’s just a word that brings joy for now. I don’t know its meaning. I’d rather care not to know. And, perhaps … perhaps I will stick with it for a while.

El doraro it is!

Namaste.

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