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Fail

Published March 24, 2022 By Bijay Shrestha

‘Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.’ ~ Adam Gottesfeld

Mogli – ‘Two Lungs’

I had a driving test today. At the end of the test, the examiner went to say, “We are not going to pass today … ” The Rest were all blur, and evaporated as quickly as he uttered a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g.

I know, I did a grave mistake on that intersection where-in I didn’t see the incoming traffic and went-in to take the left turn as asked.

I should’ve looked at the traffic carefully! I should’ve looked at the incoming car. How the F— I didn’t see that green Volkswagen beetle coming. Dumb F—! These was my brain for the next 3 hours.

I kept thinking and re-visiting on that one turn that costed me the test.

I kept saying inside my head that this day could’ve been a different scene altogether had I passed. A day without a stain!

I kept ruminating around ‘I failed’.

Later after that three long hours of resentment and the loop, … I finally gave in.

I finally accepted my failure.

I finally swallowed my lesson.

I finally said that this is just about any ordinary day.

I finally came to realize that there’s going to be other day with other important stuff to work on, that there’s going to be the other day that awaits your permission to be lived and utilized and spent fully!

Plus, I remembered a wonderful lesson from Adam Gottesfeld on Failing, which I stumbled upon when I read ‘The 4 hour work week’ by Tim Ferris.

Namaste!

p.s. you can also check this article on ‘Fail Better’!

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How much ?

Published March 3, 2022 By Bijay Shrestha

The whole is greater than sum of its parts. ~Aristotle

A Year On Earth – “Where Do I Go From Here?” 

Sometimes for clear perspective, ‘How much?” is an apt inquiry.

How much do you love your life?

How much do you love the fact that you are alive, or synonymously, how much do you love this fleeting moment, … the present?

How much do you care about your future?

How much do you love anyone? Your Father. Your Mother. Your siblings. Your Boyfriend. Your Girlfriend. Your Grandparents. Your yours.

How much does any one random or a particular event — matters, in the equation of how much you love your one whole life?

How much do you care about yourself?

How much are you serious about the serious things in life?

Purpose? Responsibility? Friendship? Kindness? Goals?

How much do you want to make this life the best!

How much are you doing all of these deliberately?

How much are you deeply fulfilled?

How much do you have to beat yourself up to be the one fulfilled?

Lastly,

It all boils down to two simple questions.

How much is ‘enough’ to last?

How much would ‘anything’ matter?

Namaste.

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Each Day

Published February 24, 2022 By Bijay Shrestha

What’s your definition of ‘The Best Day’ ?. ~ author

Milky Chance – Down by the River 

Ralph Waldo Emerson writes,

“Finish every day and be done with it. For manners and for wise living it is a vice to remember. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it well and serenely, and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day for all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on the rotten yesterdays.”

It has always been ‘forward’. It has always been about’the’ now and the ‘future’.

What you do today is always going to matter the most.

What you did will most certainly explain the bulk about your ‘current’ circumstance.

And, if you don’t have an aim, and you move with the wind of fate and luck, the ‘sleep-walking’ is obvious!

Treat each day as a miracle,

as an only day,

as your absolute existence.

Marcus Aurelius pens down,

“Concentrate every minute like a Roman— like a man— on doing what’s in front of you with precise and genuine seriousness, tenderly, willingly, with justice. And on freeing yourself from all other distractions. Yes, you can— if you do everything as if it were the last thing you were doing in your life, and stop being aimless, stop letting your emotions override what your mind tells you, stop being hypocritical, self-centered, irritable. You see how few things you have to do to live a satisfying and reverent life? If you can manage this, that’s all even the gods can ask of you.”

Let that sink in.

Namaste.

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GPA 4.0

Published February 17, 2022 By Bijay Shrestha

One day. One grade. One assignment. One mistake — doesn’t define you!

Anonymous
Gehraiyaan Title Track

I have been there.

The chase for the perfect Grade Point Average.

GPA 4.0.

A’s. More A’s.

Grades that have hardly shaped my personal and professional life.

Recently I had a candid conversation with — say Mr. X (for fragment of your imagination).

He was really upset about the grades he received for the module.

He was seemingly beating himself up for one meager mistake that costed him an ‘A’.

I was really trying to listen to him and at the same time also trying my best to figure out the right things to say.

But, perhaps he didn’t need anything coming from me.

Maybe he ONLY needed a listening ear to pour his full heart and that’s it, and not someone sympathizing, not someone hardly helping.

Looking back, I wouldn’t have felt any different than what he was going through. For, I am in that same race too. The race that I know is very expensive to participate in. The race that I know is seemingly significant but practically are mere numbers.

Tonight I want to swallow this pill once again, “GPA 4.0, or straight A’s is not the dream, is not the only way, the dream m.u.s.t be something else!”

The purpose must be progress. Not a transcript.

Your identity must be your virtues. Not grades.

Your dream must be fulfillment and appetite for more responsibility. Not A’s.

Your hunger must be competence. Not 4.0.

Namaste.

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Everyday I die

Published February 10, 2022 By Bijay Shrestha

Enjoy whatever you are going through. It’s not simple. It’s possible.

~author
Lewis Capaldi – Hold Me While You Wait

Food for brain. Epictetus wrote:

“Now is the time to get serious about living your ideals. How long can you afford to put off who you really want to be? Your nobler self cannot wait any longer. 

Put your principles into practice – now. Stop the excuses and the procrastination. This is your life! You aren’t a child anymore. The sooner you set yourself to your spiritual program, the happier you will be. The longer you wait, the more you’ll be vulnerable to mediocrity and feel filled with shame and regret, because you know you are capable of better. 

From this instant on, vow to stop disappointing yourself. Separate yourself from the mob. Decide to be extraordinary and do what you need to do – now.”

Everyday I feel grateful to be living the life I’m given. I must confront this is my ‘third’ life because there were time when chances were — just mere ‘chances’ between life and death.

Everyday I live for the two. One for myself, one for the one who wanted to. She use to say, there’s no point in living a life with a heavy heart and expensive baggage. I will never forget ‘that’ for the rest of my life. And, I have not seen anybody as her who wanted to cheat awaiting death just to l.i.v.e to see another day. She passed away right infront of me. She’ll forever be the constant background music in my life.

Everyday I thank my room (apparently a dorm where I’m living) before I leave her — ready to get sucked into the matrix of regular grind — for taking care of me and my dear belongings; for a good night sleep; for letting me keep my privacy; for warmth; for protection; for being a silent companion;

for always inviting me without expectations,

without judgements, and

without weights.

Everyday I question, how can I make my ‘today’ better than it was yesterday. Although I end up spending most of my time in an infinitely looping ‘Groundhog Day’. I try nevertheless.

Everyday I die. Everyday I try to be the better version of what, who and where I was.

Namaste.

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I love you

Published February 3, 2022 By Bijay Shrestha
Ed Sheeran – The Joker And The Queen 

I respect you.

I adore you.

Admire you.

I love you. I love you. And I love you!

Doesn’t matter If you don’t know me. Doesn’t matter if I don’t.

Doesn’t matter If you don’t talk to me. Doesn’t matter if I don’t.

Doesn’t matter if we our paths never cross. Doesn’t matter If you don’t have reasons to have me in your life.

Doesn’t matter if you don’t have time for me. Doesn’t … matter if you even hate me.

For,

all we are — are bags of unique, spilling stories.

For,

all we are — are flesh, bones, and miracle — trying to find our ways in this ever stretching time and tides of life.

For,

all we are — are hopeful voyagers with no objective destiny but shared path to a death.

For,

all we are — are strange friends to, by and for each other.

I love you for who you are.

I love you — for you exist!

Namaste.

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Simple Questions

Published January 27, 2022 By Bijay Shrestha

The answers are in the questions. Question! Question more. ~bijay.s

Anuv Jain – Alag Aasmaan

Simple questions.

What do you think of yourself?

What’s the self-image of yourself that you explain to yourself — every-time?

(stories that you tell yourself, every time)

What’s your best and the most practical and authentic bio (as we call it) that you know to be true of yourself?

(I’m not talking about those one or two lines we announce on our social media profiles)

Do you have fears? If yes, what is that? If yes, what are you doing about it?

Think. Write. Think again. Write again.

Does the self-image you carry with yourself revolve around something such as :-

On the phone too much, scrolling, tapping, waiting, anticipating, dreaming, mindlessly chatting.

Eating junks all the time.

Sugar addict.

Porn addict.

Or addicted to anything and everything you can imagine!

Ever Cheating. Ever Complaing. Ever Exhausted.

Ever Lying. Ever Postponing.

Ever … Empty!

Honestly —

Ask yourself,

Who am I for real?

What values do I carry or care for?

Do I have a purpose?

Do I have a path?

Or say, do I know where I’m headed?

And, am I going at all,

Or, am I just waiting for an imminent end.

Namaste!

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Beautiful Struggle & Sanity

Published January 25, 2022 By Bijay Shrestha

The person who carefully designs their daily routine goes further than the person that negotiates with themselves every day ~ Shane Parrish

Rolling in the Deep – Adele – FUNK cover feat. Sarah Dugas!

Before I begin: I didn’t publish last Thursday (Jan 20, 2021) because of the exam. I know it’s a good excuse but it was pre-meditated, deliberate and a necessary break. Let’s compensate it today.

Wise words are fundamentally simple.

Simple to chew.

Simple to digest.

Most important of all, Simple to ‘last’.

For the past few weeks, I myself was going through a soul-searching journey as I found myself on the edges of soul-crushing reality. It was indeed exhausting, intrinsically painful, and too much to bear.

Well, one tweet saved my sinking titanic.

It was from one of my mentor Ryan Holiday. He tweeted,

“Be quiet, work hard, and stay healthy. It’s not ambition or skill that is going to set you apart but sanity.”

It was at that moment I realized that my balance (balance of life in general) was messed up because I was actually lacking an important ingredient in the recipe of my self-made ‘Beautiful Struggle’ curry.

And that’s — peace of mind!

Two things.

One.

Beautiful Struggle!

‘Beautiful Struggle’ because you suffer for something beautiful for a period of time until you get what you want.

‘Beautiful Struggle’ because you struggle at an expense of your time otherwise spent on meager fun, entertainment and ephemeral-proxy-happiness.

And second.

Peace of mind.

‘Peace of mind’ — for it fuels and drives the rest of you — sustainably.

So, I promised I’d rather look inward than outward.

I’d rather focus on the calm than on the chaos that surrounds.

I’d rather chew on fragments of bigger problem than think about all the big problems that big problem will create.

I’d rather be sane and working than running wild and aimlessly.

Namaste.

p.s. A Big, Fat, Delicious Bonus here!

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30 minutes

Published January 13, 2022 By Bijay Shrestha

Bad days aren’t really bad. Give it 48 hours!

~I

Sajjan Raj Vaidya – Naganya Maya

We both looked at each other.

Our eyes moist, bloodshot, trying desperately to hide herself; the face melting, questioning; the surrounding air partly frozen, fully painful, all the more poisonous — we fishing cried.

Oh! We cried the fish out!

In the aftermath, some part of us revived.

Part of us died.

I reckon thoughts are more painful than the reality.

Hmm..

Now, as far as healing is concerned.

Healing, needs kindness.

Gentleness.

Calmness.

Forgiveness.

Healing — it merely needed a fresh perspective.

It needed an objective purpose.

It needed a good food with chilled soda.

It needed a brisk 30 minutes conversational walk!

Oh! We walked the fish out!

Namaste.

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