This might come as an excuse but I honestly was exhausted because of the exams and other in-between errands here and there.
I don’t know why my right leg is paining so much. Perhaps, like solution said it might be an aftermath of the swimming that we did on the weekend. I don’t know.
Well, I’m well aware of the philosophy of ‘Showing up’.
What do you do when you get married? You take someone who’s just as useless and horrible as you are, and then you shackle yourself to them.
Jordan B. Peterson
Emilioats – Youth
“Marriage is not — a contract. Marriage is not — abiding by my some protocols or laws or rules. Fulfilling relationship or marriage is at least not about — saying, If you have this, this, this quality, or If you do this, that, this stuff, or even faintly borrowing the belief that your partner has to be exactly like that ‘kind of person’ (a metaphorical template in your head) or that your partner can’t be flawed.. That’s not marriage and that barely looks like a joyful relationship. It’s a disaster.
More so often, we tend to believe that successful marriages are ones where we are comfortable all the times. No! Matter of fact, borrowing it from Jordan B. Peterson, he says,
“…successful relationships are all about creating a space where the boundaries are clearly defined, and each partner can trust the other to be completely open about their thoughts, feelings, and experiences.”
Marriage, is trust.
Marriage is a commitment to not lie, no matter how acidic it is.
Marriage is not hiding a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g in the fog.
Marriage is genuine respect.
Marriage is building each other.
Marriage is supporting one another.
Marriage is acknowledging the dispute and trying best to resolve them with grace and openness.
Marriage is equal partnership. 100% his, and 100% yours! [Yes, she shared me this link,, and it makes total sense.]
Marriage is absolute transparency.
Marriage is a reliable, comfortable couch.
Marriage is freedom! Freedom to seek freedom. Freedom to ask for freedom. Freedom to be free. Freedom to be ‘you’ without judgement, without-a-question!
Marriage is so many things, but there are thing that sits at the core (for me personally),
All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make, the better.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
BALEN – BALIDAN
What is your plan five years from now?
This is not necessarily is a standard Job interview question. After reading a short article from James Clear (author of Atomic Habits), I realized that this one question is in fact one of the most crucial questions one ought to ask themselves.
I’m not BS-ing, this one question must be
our destination — that will keep our ass on where it needs to be,
our lighthouse to follow — while at the same time serving us as a beacon for our own navigational aid to the road of the unforeseen future.
our fear — that will keep us discipline,
our friend — that will never betray us from becoming our best selves regardless of whether we attained what we set out to achieve.
Which is why, ask, Where do you see yourself five years from today?
James Clears writes,
“Most big, deeply satisfying accomplishments in life take at least five years to achieve. This can include building a business, cultivating a loving relationship, writing a book, getting in the best shape of your life, raising a family, and more.
Five years is a long time. It is much slower than most of us would like. If you accept the reality of slow progress, you have every reason to take action today. If you resist the reality of slow progress, five years from now you’ll simply be five years older and still looking for a shortcut”
Namaste.
p.s. The quote in the beginning of the post was sent to me by Professor René Erickson. Will forever be grateful for her!
Family is all I‘ll ever have and need. ~ Ed Sheehan
Tamzene – Called You Out
These couple of months, I have not been able to talk to my family as frequently and as normally as I used to. Sometimes, especially whenever I am alone (mostly exhausted, mostly stressed and mostly sleepless); the thought of not keeping up with mum, dad, brother, sister, and including people I give a shit about — eats me up.
However, a question. What is important? Also follows.
It saves me from the blue pill of regret or FOMO in general.
One of my mentor, Dr. Jordan Peterson, says,
The purpose of life is finding the largest
burden that you can bear and bearing it.
I am trying my best to walk on this path.
However.
Contrarily,
I lost emé (my grandmother) a year ago. She was family, and the pain of her loss is still here with me. As I write. As I think trying not to think. This pain will always be with me. She will forever be my fresh wound!
Consider this my self-cry :-
I want to enjoy my family.
I want to spend as much of my time and energy with people that matter to me. People that are my family.
Appreciate the beauty around you, it will fade very soon.
~ Anonymous
Blake Rose – Lost
Today, I stumbled upon the story of a boy learning to code from his broken and battered phone. His heart melting email to Nelson (founder of amigoscode), to help him with a $50 investment from him, so that he can buy a computer and learn to code a little conviniently — warmed my heart!
I reckon, more often than not, we take things from granted. More often than not, we forget our privileged life circumstances, and tend to bend towards and ruminate around problems that aren’t even a problem (upon microscopical surgery) in the first place. For, if you’re reading this blog through the convenience of your smart phone or computer; there are people who want your freaking life for them in exchange. There’re people who are in real pain, than we are. More often than not, there are more real, complicated problems and issues than the ones we think we have. Hunger. Death. Poverty. The real struggle for bread on the table. The real fight and flight for dreams.
Dr. Jordan B Peterson puts it right, “Get your shit together! Be responsible for your shits and for the ones that aren’t yours as well.” Let the boy be the apt metaphor, the tool, the fire, the drive for our dreams, and save ourselves from lingering around complaints and dissatisfaction and the bruises and the ephemeral problems.
Gist of it all: Let’s all be grateful for the opportunity that we have which’s called life. Let’s all start from wherever we are and strive and stride and struggle with purpose, with firm commitment, and determination and discipline, with love and grace — not so much painfully, forcefully but with utter joy!
Namaste!
p.s. the video down below awaits you.
Video Caption: OMG he only codes on his phone
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Doris Lessing writes, “We all of us have limited amounts of energy, and I am sure the people who are successful have learned, either by instinct or consciously, to use their energies well instead of spilling them about. And this has to be different for every person, writers or otherwise. I know writers who go to parties every night and then, recharged instead of depleted, happily write all day. But if I stay up half the night talking, I don’t do so well the next day. Some writers like to start work as soon as they can in the morning, while others like the night or—for me almost impossible—the afternoons. Trial and error, and then when you’ve found your needs, what feeds you, what is your instinctive rhythm and routine, then cherish it.”
Osho Jain – Dhere Dhere
I’m surprised I never realized that we’ve so little time, when it fundamentally comes to the acute sense of urgency. MIU taught me the essence of time-investment. These days, I’m curious how successful people on the top of the Maslow’s pyramid harnesses, optimizes and savors theirs.
Very few or worst no one tells us that
We must try to understand the person in each of us, specially our ego.
We must invest time instead of spending it.
We must be okay with discomforts and challenges and pressure and all the things that could go against our own will. In short, we must be okay with not being okay.
We must be okay if things didn’t pan out the way we anticipated.
We must be okay about all the beautiful shits that pinches and pokes us time=to-time.
We must be okay to make sacrifices.
We must be okay to be alone.
We must be okay to have the wildest dream possible and aim at it and move towards it and not worry about the consequences and be just okay even if we fall short eventually!
It isn’t the things themselves that disturb people, but the judgements that they form about them. ~ Epictetus
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gk3k7Oe1w9Q
Eli Teplin – Off The Grid
“I need to develop a much-needed, a must-have skill to digest setbacks and failures.”, I clearly remember the evening when I was having this conversation with Babu.
There will come a time when despite all the hard-work, the sleepless nights, the restless days, Despite giving everything I have — I will still fall short, I will still fail.
Very rarely, I’ve had these kind of scant, hard-to-chew, hard-to-swallow kinds of moments in my life. But then, as I often tell; memory’s a weird thing, that you eventually forget the taste, the smell and the feel of those (beautiful in their own unique way) memories. And, because of this one simple reason,
you forget that, ‘acceptance is your antidote‘,
you forget that, ‘obstacle is the way‘ (from Ryan Holiday),
you forget that, ‘it’s one single day against the rest of the other days you would live’,
you forget that,’ instead of regret and resentment, self-reflection, course correction is a noble virtue to practice’,
you forget that, ‘there’re things that you’ve absolutely control over and there’re things that you don’t‘,
you forget that, ‘all you have is this single day, and the powerful choice to choose to decide how you want to spend it‘,
you forget that, ‘you can use some magic of deliberate self-love and self-care‘,
you forget that, ‘future has nothing to do with your past but everything to do with your present‘,
you forget that, ‘your decision at this ugly moment really has weight; thatyour resolve to harness the power of this unimaginable and utterly uncomfortable, sadness —matters!’,
A note to self — Comeback to this post every once in a while.
However, it’s been a while I’ve not been giving her much attention,
It’s been a while I’ve dissed my promise,
It’s been a while I’m living a flavor of life never occurred to me before,
It’s been a while I’ve had to really, really measure my priorities,
It’s been a while I’ve had to suffer in magnitude I never saw coming,
It’s been a while I’ve had to manage hour-by-hour,
It’s been a while I’ve had to calculate and allocate my time to sleep,
It’s been a while I’m rolling with the punches in this unique journey of pain and the pleasure.
You may be wondering ‘what the fuck’ I’m talking about, because everything I said above is freaking discrete, and rightly so, adds to nothing of useful information to your senses.
But, a big but, If you know me well, you would know I am going through a whole-another-lever phase of my life. Nevertheless, for the record, let’s recall few of the highlights of the past few weeks:
Prof. Xing’s advice — to not give up, to keep believing in myself that I can do it and work really, really freaking hard for it.
Despite all the circus going around in-between my days and the night, I managed to stick with potatoshrestha’s commitment
Got my first ‘B’ (34/40) on Web Application Programming’s (CS472-WAP) midterm and for the ‘A’ on the overall grade, showing up for the exam knowing I can only afford to lose 1 point (despite acknowledging the fact that the exam is going to be darn tricky and utterly tough that time around as well) was a different ball-game!
Didn’t sleep the whole night for the project. Will be forever in-debt to one of my best friends — Puku dai!
Samyog becomes father again to a baby girl on April 17, 2022.
Got new information on ‘OPT track’. Nani stepped in to help with the finances.
Solution get’s addicted to kimchi and the nail extension
I am a living testament of falling, and failing into this ‘tomorrow’ trap.
I have been a prisoner.
I have wasted almost 2 decades of my beautiful life believing it to be true.
I have failed myself so many times by successfully postponing things until tomorrow.
I don’t mean I have come clean now.
There definitely are residues!
See, if you look surgically, and carefully, and with intentional curiosity, and with honest dare — you will acknowledge that you’ve absolutely zero control over how the template of tomorrow is going to pan out for you, that you have completely no grip over almost all the variables that makes up this ‘tomorrow’ crap. Surprisingly, how gravely fool we a.r.e, to trust ‘it’ anyway?
It’s not that I never had had this forms of internal dialog, it’s just that they never weighted too much in front of tons of sweet distractions I have always had to give my abundant time to. To put it simply: Procrastination has always been an elephant in the room for me. And, good chances are, may be, you too have been worshiping this dream-killing-god that momentarily saves us all —
from the pain of having to go through the storm,
from the pain of having to go and do the shits that really matter,
