Category: Thursday

“Choose not to be harmed—and you won’t feel harmed. Don’t feel harmed—and you haven’t been.” 

The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph by Ryan Holiday

Part 2

So, after my rejection from US Consulate, Delhi, and before I’d return to Nepal in scars and claw marks, I stomached up enough courage to look at the next available appointment dates. Luckily, I found the closest one and the only appointment at that time in Mumbai.

In just about few days, I packed-up my bag, and I remember paying special attention as I packed up those newly bought pair of clothes I once wore on my first interview along with a pair of shoes my brother had bought me.

I took my brother’s credit card, flew to Mumbai with ample amount of cash I had in reserve with me. Having spent most of my time in palpable despair and having spent most of my times thinking about the thoughts of the thoughts I couldn’t stop thinking about, nothing was planned even until last minute. I knew I had to add pieces myself as soon as I land on Mumbai airport. That, I had to survive Mumbai for next 6 days all on my own, all alone. I confess, it was scary because a local-town boy had never done anything like that before.

In Mumbai, I remember, I spent most of my time practicing in front of the mirror. The mirror where I had also taped a piece of A4 size paper where I wrote ‘Seek Discomfort’ on the largest possible font size right at its center.

I practiced the questions. I practiced from when I woke up to when I passed out unknowingly late at night. I struggled to sleep. Most of the time I couldn’t. I didn’t eat much. I very much rarely left the room except for the one or two times to deliberately get familiar around US Consulate, Mumbai in the pretext of time and walking distance from my hotel. I calculated, it took me approximately 25-28 minutes to chill-walk to the Embassy from the hotel. It took me 13 minutes when I jogged.

Now, here is the caveat to the portion “I said to myself that I’d go to the bottom of the pit — seeking, enduring, embracing every freaking possible discomforts!“, which I had mentioned in Part 1 of this n-part series. That twist is: I had 200% made up my mind to quit the visa interview in Mumbai and run back to Nepal for two clear reasons: One — in my mind I thought the next rejection is on-the-way. I was shit scared, I was forgetting things I practiced. And, I cried a lot … a lot as a consequence of that mental meltdown just two days before the interview. Similarly, the number two reason I vividly remember was — one of the respected priest slash astrologer I had once consulted in Nepal had called me abruptly and told me that he’s shit-certain to help me get the visa in Kathmandu.

Namaste.

Face the demon of your imagination and Grow up.

Jordan B. Peterson

Part 1

I have no shame in sharing the fact that I come from a relatively poor family. I have two siblings, mom and a dad. The condition of our family two decades ago is different than the condition we were in a decade ago, and touchwood it’s unimaginably better now as each three of us siblings have been living our own independent lives in different directions while keeping the center warm, while keeping the family,.. Family.

Coming to US wasn’t my decision. It was my girlfriend’s. I call her ‘Solution’. She solves all my problems and predicaments without me uttering a word. And, although I’m her fourth boyfriend, she says she’s stuck with me for the rest of her life. That’s really sweet of her.

Getting back to the topic of the day: I must have said it before as well that I was shit scared of applying to the states, because I thought I am not well-off enough to deserve this country,

… because I was shit scared of another rejection after Canada visa denial.

Matter of fact, I was rather applying to Australia, Europe, anywhere else but the United States of America. I vividly remember that conversation early morning on the 9th floor of M&S tower at F1soft when she (Solution) asked me to give it a shot as we were weighing our future options. We prepared every evening after work for at least 2 hours practicing Java coding questions for the forthcoming exam for the university. Well, we both passed the exam.

Plus, ‘Solution’ also got her US visa pretty much soon after that.

Now, with the money I had been saving up I went to Delhi chasing after this, .. the wildest of my dreams. And, here I was going back to my brother’s apartment in Laxmi Nagar on 31st of August, 2021 after getting rejected on my first visa interview in US Consulate Delhi. I cried that day — feeling disgusted, inadequate and worthless to the core because it is not that I didn’t put-in my one-thousand percent in preparing for the interview. Some said, i over-prepared, some said to take it easy. Some said, we’ll try again but I said to myself that I’d go to the bottom of the pit — seeking, enduring, embracing every freaking possible discomforts!

(well, there’s a subtle incoherence on this particular flight-and-fight thought process which i will explain in the 2nd part of this personal diary)

However, looking back, I feel grateful for that insulting slap on the face despite … despite burning all the midnight oil I possibly could have.

Namaste.

p.s. song credit — My twin brother!

“To get what you want, you have to deserve what you want. That world is not yet a crazy enough place to reward a whole bunch of people.”

Charlie Munger

I and my brother were talking about Priorities this morning. I was telling him how much I have changed when it came to keeping up with the priorities.

I was telling him how I have allowed myself (shamelessly) to be flexible with Musicpervs weekly post schedule.

I was telling him how I sacrificed my workout regimen.

I was telling him how I have (without any guilt) learned to look and listen and act according to the priorities.

Weekly posts can wait. You can always make up for it.

Workout can wait. You can always make up for it.

Things that can wait — can wait. You always have a second shot (and acknowledging this is crucial)

But opportunities don’t!

Acknowledge.

You make up priorities for opportunities that awaits,

for things that are tangibly irreversible,

for suffering for the right thing.

You make priorities for navigating through the thicks and thins in life,

and grow in the process,

… call it an investment for the future.

Priorities begets purpose.

Priorities demand attention.

Priorities demand sacrifice.

Priorities begets progress!