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You cannot do kindness too soon, for you never know how soon
it will be too late.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON

Today’s post is specially dedicated to my grandmother (Emé)

Emé use to say, “Be nice, son! It gives you a lot many things for action that simple because the alternative is unbearably painful. You sometimes even would wish of dying!”

The day of that conversation as she was nurturing me as she was crying the same time is still as fresh in my mind today. It shall only die with me.

On the same note, a couple in their early 100’s who’ve been married for 82 years confronted; the pedestal of their larger-than-life-marriage has been fundamentally attributed to being nicer and respectful to each other.

Human by birth has been a social creature.

Today, I would disagree when someone says, “Oh! I can live on my own. Alone. I’ll be fine.” Well, there were times when I use to utter the same words. However, later only I’d know that it’s merely the ego speaking; It’s at core a low resolution, loosely constructed mindset — proxy-fueling our journey to fulfilling life’s finish line .

Fact is, human need human. Although, not too many!

Which is why, specially for a couple to remain a couple — be nice!

For a son to be a son — be nice.

For a friend to be a friend — be nice.

For a sister to be a sister or brother to be a brother — be nice.

For a human to be a human indeed. Be nice.

For I can’t stress this enough, being nice is so damn much under-valued and easily thrown out of one’s daily life experience.

Namaste.

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Gratitude is underrated. Gratitude flourishes more gratitude. Gratitude grounds you as you fly.

~ author

I’ve confessed multiple times that I come from a poor family.

A family where we had warmth within but were just.getting.by.

I remember I use to wish I had merely 50 rupees earphone (roughly equivalent to less than 50 cent in USD). And even the ones I had, I use to be creative around saving them because I knew I couldn’t afford another anytime soon.

I remember since we were 3 siblings, my mum (who use to take care of most of the households) use to strictly ration our lunch. Mostly it was the cheapest, large packets of the lowest-grade noodle with loads-many sands in it. There was this weird thing I use to feel (perhaps it was wishful thinking, maybe it was jealousy — I can’t exactly plant the flag) watching our cousins drink sodas and eat expensive (by our standard) snacks for lunch of their own.

I remember all three of us use to sleep on the floor of a small cramped up room.

I remember I use to wish we had good food on our plates which perhaps only happened when we attended parties.

I remember wishing for a pair of football shoe, wishing for a football of my own when we used to play football … passionately.

I remember wishing if I can afford one tennis ball when we use to play cricket … passionately.

I remember wishing for a nice bat when we use to play table tennis … passionately.

I remember wishing we could afford a bicycle when we use to watch other kids play.

I remember wishing if I can afford new books, toys, ipod shuffle or at least any forms of portable music player.

I remember going to one of my best friend’s (Samyog) house just to see his computer. It was love at first sight. In those times, computer was a luxury; Plus we had our first computer when i started my undergrad and having computer was a must for the course. That came out of a loaned money; So was my first laptop. It was refurbished but thought it was the best price. Thanks to Manish — my another best friend.

My parents still lives in a house made of mud that was maybe built a century ago. But, …. but It is also true that my parents consider themselves one of the happiest among the people around them. Fairly luckiest too. It’s still warm inside that house, in our humble family. This may come to you as funny, irrational, foolish but there was this one time incident where-in I didn’t reply my mum’s text with ‘mummy’ word appended in the end. I usually do but then at that instance perhaps I was in hurry or was handful with some errands. My mum confessed on our next immediate exchange that her heart sank when she saw that text. That’s how heart of a glass my mum has. I love that. It’s her way of educating, ‘little things matters’. Without any reservations I can say that despite our hardships and tough fate — we were warm inside because she was the fire! I’m sure all four of us would agree.

I remember going through rough and tough waves, can’t really tell if it was depression or something else but It’s still as clear to me today that at one point i felt that I had forgotten how to laugh, when to laugh, where to laugh. I’m not sure if you’re able to decipher this generalization of behavioral dilemma. In simple terms I meant to say I was f*cked!

Well, there are tons many ‘I remembers’ that brings me joy as I remember them and I wouldn’t change a thing of the past and the present.

It just swells my heart with utter sense of gratitude and humility to have come this far.

Namaste.

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I’m potato. A good one. Maybe not. Maybe yes. Possibly both. ~ author

Few House keeping.

It’s been a week of having unburdened myself from the clutches and craziness of social media apparatus by the name of ‘instagram’ — this lucious bad boy, girl, or whatever.

And, what has come out of this auspicious, long-calling change of habit?

First and foremost, constant temptation to download that glittery, candy-alike instagram.

Secondly, which was obvious to me — i.e.,Munching of Twitter sky-rocketed. I believe maybe it’s a spill-over phenomena. Well, for sure, I need to build a floodgate around my pacifying smartphone-use and instead try to squeeze more juice out of the free hours I’m getting.

I have been watching more chess-videos. For some reason that I can’t explain but myan, I’m hooked on this beautiful game for no obvious reason.

I’m back in the form — devouring as much organic information as I possibly can; as I’ve started to listen to more podcasts all the way to the end. One podcast in particular I enjoyed the most this week was The Joe Rogan Experience #1921 – Peter Zeihan.

I and solution both contradicted Covid. It’s still a mystery who’s the carrier but does it matter? No. What matters? Solution these days is laughing her ass out on my jokes. Precious, priceless times aé!

Furthermore, thanks to Aanchal (one of Solution’s best friends) who introduced me to the song I would want to die with, when I eventually die, of course. This song, the one that came with this post magically calms me down and lulls me to sleep. Beautiful stuff!

And, on the last note, here’s also my bonus playlist.

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Something i want to leave you with today.

An inquiry to self.

Are you honestly living the best version of the life you … possibly, possibly can? could’ve?

Does not necessarily have to be on the silk side of the happy case scenario! That means, if you’re suffering; if you’re going through the tough waves; if you’re going through the rough roller-costers of chaos; if you’re going through the grief and the pain of immeasurable magnitude; if you’re going through the alarming sense of emptiness, loneliness, meaninglessness. Then, suffer with Pride and Dignity! A capital ‘P’ and the capital ‘D’

However, only for the things that’s worth every dime of your energy or whatever you call it because i tell you it’s tempting to suffer for the foolish of reasons.

Hmmm… sure, I myself ask that question every-time I can, that If I’m honestly living the best version of the life i possibly.. ..possibly can. It sort of has become one of those compass I use to navigate through these unknown shit-tons of waters around my own lifeline. While most of the times the answer is ‘Oh! f*ck*ng Yes!’; many-of-times the answer has been ‘no’.

No lies.

And, it’s at this moment I know I need to slow down,

re-calibrate my position in the ground of my life’s roots (values per se),

be gentle and kind to myself,

breathe with grace and intent, and

move .. move nevertheless! Slowly!

Namaste.

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“Happiness is simply the absence of desire… Happiness is not about the achievement of pleasure (which is joy or satisfaction), but about the lack of desire. It arrives when you have no urge to feel differently. Happiness is the state you enter when you no longer want to change your state.”

James Clear (author of Best Seller Atomic Habits)

It has been a year.

I had been happy.

It’s time I come out of this Pandora bubble.

Sure, it’s charming and comfortable.

Sure, it’s shallow and deceiving.

Like they say, there’s cost associated with everything,

happiness also has a price.

It’s time I return to the root.

Damp. Dark. Disgusting. Dangerous.

For, happiness isn’t promised to anyone.

For, happiness doesn’t promise eternality.

Muddle through!

Let that sink in.

Namaste.

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External things are not the problem. It’s your assessment of them. Which you can erase right now.

Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Off of many things I’ve learned from my mentors, one lesson they all re-iterate over and over again is to never give a thing about —

how people look at you, Good. Bad. Doesn’t matter.

how people have their point-of-view over you,

how people perceive your life choices and decisions,

how people frame you, or worst — want you to fit in their pseudo-made-up-perfect mould,

In less word possible, they say, Give no fu*ks about others’ f*ckeries.

Other’s got their own wastes;

Other’s got their own insecurities;

Other’s got their own story, their own narrative of other’s stories.

For as long as your ego hasn’t gotten the best of you;

For as long as you’re not heedless and that ephemeral, non-existent pride is not up in your arse;

For as long as you’re not damaging anybody — physically, mentally, spiritually;

For as long as you’re not stepping up on somebody else’s lawn;

In less word possible, you should be fine; You are fine!

Namaste.

p.s. for the record MIU published this small newsletter on me this november. Thanks to Solution for the lead!

p.s.s. Practicing — not being afraid.

Bijay Shrestha: Realizing His IT and Personal Potential

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One of the hardest things to do is to separate your work and the effort that you put in from the results. An actor doesn’t control the movie around them. They don’t control what the other actors do. They don’t control the marketing budget. They don’t control the distribution. They could do the role of a lifetime, but the director or editor could mess it up in post-production. If your happiness with your job and your career is dependent on how the movie does at the box office or how the critics respond to your role, you have placed your happiness in the hands of other people, and that’s a recipe for profound disappointment. – Ryan Holiday, The Unmistakable Creative

I’m past 30 years of age and in all these many years, off of many things I’ve been grateful to learn; one of them is to understand (and on-time) the leverage of the right mindset.

“Mindset is an “established set of attitudes, esp. regarded as typical of a particular group’s social or cultural values; the outlook, philosophy, or values of a person; (now also more generally) frame of mind, attitude, disposition.”^[1] A mindset may also arise from a person’s world view or philosophy of life.”

Wikipedia

Now, if you dig further, you’d want to learn some more about Fixed and Growth mindset by Carol Dweck where in her book “Mindset”, she writes, “success comes from having the right mindset rather than intelligence, talent or education“. Debatable? Yes. But I’m not here to talk you about all that. I am no expert, not even close.

I’m here to share how a simple shift of mindsets can give us a completely different perspective and chances are it might as well give us a different life in the long run.

For example:

Awwwwhhh…I have to go to work or I get to go to work.

I’m not hurt or I’m healing.

I’m not losing or I’m learning.

I’m not anxious or I’m thrilled.

I’m not rejected or I’m redirected.

You see it’s inevitable and It’s beyond our scope of control to stop negative things from happening to us and essentially to stop negative thoughts from swelling up our brain.

Plus, despite, … despite all that, fighting back negative mindset makes them even harder if not done the right way.

Which is why, my two cents here, “Have right stuff in to get the right stuff out.”

Namaste.

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