Think Different ~ Advertisement slogan of Apple Computer Inc 1997-2002
Tanmaya Bhatnagar – I Can’t Go Back To Sleep
18+ Content. So, if you’re under-aged ….
It doesn’t matter.
I’ve never watched Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda video before [Link here] . But today I definitely took some time and gave it a shot from beginning through to the end, seconds-by-seconds, and frame-by-frame.
It was deliberate!
I didn’t watch it the second time though.
It was also deliberate.
The Why?
Thanks to an hour long, thought provoking and a brilliant conversation between Chris Williamson and Douglas Murray in Chris’s own podcast named ‘Modern Wisdom’ on a topic — ‘The Price Of Thinking Out Loud’ [Link here].
Here’s a short video snippet on ‘Anaconda’ from the podcast (video-form).
Well, a wise man once said, “You cannot un-see what you’ve seen.”
and likely so, Anaconda will never be the same for me again.
Namaste.
p.s.
Douglas Murray — an author of ‘The Madness of Crowds: Gender, Race and Identity’ among many other best selling books — to me, is one of the world-class, prominent thinkers of our generation.
“Just that you do the right thing. The rest doesn’t matter.
Cold or warm. Tired or well-rested. Despised or honored. Dying … or busy with other assignments.
Because dying, too, is one of our assignments in life. There as well: “to do what needs doing.” ~ Marcus Aurelius (Meditation)
BOB DYLAN – Mr Tambourine Man
‘Memento Mori’ medallion by Ryan Holiday lays on my work desk as I start my Work From Home Office day.
Plus, every night before I go to bed, I bring the coin with me. Play with her for a while and finally, finally tuck her underneath my pillow just before I pass out.
To me, doing this has become like a weird ritual.
To me, it’s one of the most important discovery of my life!
Sure, I’ve written in length about this Latin phrase — quite a lot really [see this]; Which simply meant,
“Remember, you will die!“
Well, here’s the cookie in the jar; this mere $26.00 metal or say my metaphorical friend at the moment with ‘Memento Mori’ etched on it — clearly, rightfully, and bravely demands;
“Stop whatever you’re doing for a moment and ask yourself: Am I afraid of death because I won’t be able to do this anymore?” —Marcus Aurelius
Don’t Let It Pass – Junip
On June 01, 2021 — Ujjwal dai passed away because of covid complications. And, like many were, I was too fornicated mentally when i saw the news of his demise floating over the web like wildfire.
And naturally, I was thrown aback to my first and perhaps one of those weirdest and naive conversations that only my 19/20 years old would produce.
My first message to Ujwal dai. He was sweet enough to answer and point me to the right stuff.
My final follow up message threads. He was again kind and considerate enough to point this lost, seemingly weird, cum an unknown strange boy to the right direction.
The thing was,
I was scouring wildly out on the internet looking for the must-visit places in Nepal and gracefully did stumble upon his nice blog-post on the same along with some really beautiful photographs of Manang (if i recollect right).
2011- we were neither friends on Facebook or any other social media platforms. I didn’t know him personally. And, never have we met either. But yes, I wrote to him, shamelessly! With young-silly spirited blood, I reckon.
And for that, I will forever have a bellyful of laughter because of this weird stunt that feebly connected me to him.
Again, looking back:
I like his blog decorum. Specially for it’s true relevance, the usefulness and a simplicity. Which still stands true till date.
Second, I’ve always adored his simple English vocabs, on each one of his publications. I clearly remember, back in the days, I was trying to improve my writing skill (or whatever you call it) by looking at — how he used to write his.
Furthermore, at around 2013, I ran into one of the video he had published on YouTube which I happily put on my 2015’s earthquake self-reflection diary. I had only one goal in my mind then — to communicate message of hope.
Similarly, I looked up to him for his profound intellect-ism (because he for sure knew his shits well)
Without a doubt, his noble pieces and fragments will forever stay with me for the rest of my life!
With due sincerity, I truly am not enjoying typing this eulogy-type thing.
Memories is all we’ll ever have, don’t we? ~ Author
Bella Ciao – La Casa de Papel
Personal stuff!
My grand mother holding my hand, teaching me to do ritual stuff during our birthday puja.
“Nothing will happen to me. Isn’t it?”, I recollect she had randomly asked me exactly twice when we were at the hospital as she was receiving treatment for her illness under close diagnosis.
Her health was showing promising recovery. And, I did reassured my grandmother that we’ll both return home in no time.It had already been 5 days and that painful day, I even remember her requesting my maternal uncle (her son), and did so repeatedly, pleading him to take her home — safe and sound — just for once!
I remember we were all positive about her prospective well-being.
I remember keeping up with her diet chart.
I remember logging in her water-intake sheet.
I remember her holding my hands when she couldn’t stand and sit on her own.
I very much clearly remember our very last happy day!
I remember her final meal.
I remember all the struggles she embraced, fought and endured in hope,
for hope.
[…]
And yes, she did finally leave the ICU bed,
[…]
but at the expense of her life!
[…]
She never returned home.
And, I couldn’t save her.
And now that, that has happened — at least once a week my brain without-a-miss references the fragments of my memories with her, and mostly not-so-pleasant ones.
And, before sadness swallows me,
I cling to distractions.
I reckon,
Life is not designed to be fair.
It will never be fair!
And, the best we can do is — do what’s best for us given all sorts of unanticipated and thick circumstances,
far beyond our control,
beyond us.
It is for sure that my love for my grandmother (despite her physical absence) will never get less or cease to exist … until I do.
Probably my final birthday tika with her.
On the same token,
I hope you too will love your mattered ones — fully, selflessly, unconditionally
Today will be the 8th month of my grandmother’s passing away.
Today, I told my mum that I loved ‘maa‘ as much as I love her in between an emotional exchange. I almost cried!
So, very much quickly and in companionable quietude. let’s try to simplify our fridged life for the greater good of our fridg-ed self.
Let’s start with Jordan B Peterson’s — Take Responsibility for your life myaann. And sure as hell, don’t hesitate to take shots — gracefully, whenever they arrive.
And as The minimalists say — Be mostly lightheaded my friends. And, Be content, with enough on your plate.
And like my grandmother use to tell, Be humble whenever situation calls for. And, Be kind, always!
Likewise.
Make meaningful choices. Make — real friends.
Have goals.
Have moves.
Quit wasting time.
Quit — what you know for real that you need to quit!
