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Not her. No me.

At your absolute best, you still won’t be good enough
for the wrong person.
At your worst, you’ll still be worth it
to the right person.

~ Karen Salmansohn

Allman Brown & Liz Lawrence – Sons and Daughters

On September 5, 2024, I had a second round interview with Bank of America team at 9AM PDT. I didn’t sleep well the night before and I very well knew I could easily mess up the interview if I didn’t get my shit together.

So, as usual to calm down my nerve and deploy tunnel focus on-demand. I started listening to the ‘Bathroom Dance’ track from the Joker movie .

It has become sort of a ritual for me to do these weird things. For cherry on top I took this mediocre photograph from the terrace of the apartment as I went there to get some sunlight before the interview started.

Later that day in the evening, Tessa called me and told me that Bank of America team have offered me a position.

This was … this really was indeed a humongous relief Post June 26, 2024. That day was the last day I had a job to wake up to.

Now whatever happened between June 26 and September 5, 2024, every day was painful.

Everyday was a lesson.

Objectively speaking albeit in generic sense, I did lose the ‘me’ at some-point during that timeline.

And, I was afraid I will never find that mojo I thought I had.

It would be ridiculous of me to not share the fact that my girlfriend is why I found the ‘me’. She is the reason why I was still able to keep up with that lost ‘me’ hanging by a mere thread if not for her abundant love.


Aptly, she is the reason why I am how I am,

Who I am,

How I am.

Where I am,

What I am.

Kind of apt to say, “Not her. No me’

Namaste.