Gratitude is underrated. Gratitude flourishes more gratitude. Gratitude grounds you as you fly.
~ author
I’ve confessed multiple times that I come from a poor family.
A family where we had warmth within but were just.getting.by.
I remember I use to wish I had merely 50 rupees earphone (roughly equivalent to less than 50 cent in USD). And even the ones I had, I use to be creative around saving them because I knew I couldn’t afford another anytime soon.
I remember since we were 3 siblings, my mum (who use to take care of most of the households) use to strictly ration our lunch. Mostly it was the cheapest, large packets of the lowest-grade noodle with loads-many sands in it. There was this weird thing I use to feel (perhaps it was wishful thinking, maybe it was jealousy — I can’t exactly plant the flag) watching our cousins drink sodas and eat expensive (by our standard) snacks for lunch of their own.
I remember all three of us use to sleep on the floor of a small cramped up room.
I remember I use to wish we had good food on our plates which perhaps only happened when we attended parties.
I remember wishing for a pair of football shoe, wishing for a football of my own when we used to play football … passionately.
I remember wishing if I can afford one tennis ball when we use to play cricket … passionately.
I remember wishing for a nice bat when we use to play table tennis … passionately.
I remember wishing we could afford a bicycle when we use to watch other kids play.
I remember wishing if I can afford new books, toys, ipod shuffle or at least any forms of portable music player.
I remember going to one of my best friend’s (Samyog) house just to see his computer. It was love at first sight. In those times, computer was a luxury; Plus we had our first computer when i started my undergrad and having computer was a must for the course. That came out of a loaned money; So was my first laptop. It was refurbished but thought it was the best price. Thanks to Manish — my another best friend.
My parents still lives in a house made of mud that was maybe built a century ago. But, …. but It is also true that my parents consider themselves one of the happiest among the people around them. Fairly luckiest too. It’s still warm inside that house, in our humble family. This may come to you as funny, irrational, foolish but there was this one time incident where-in I didn’t reply my mum’s text with ‘mummy’ word appended in the end. I usually do but then at that instance perhaps I was in hurry or was handful with some errands. My mum confessed on our next immediate exchange that her heart sank when she saw that text. That’s how heart of a glass my mum has. I love that. It’s her way of educating, ‘little things matters’. Without any reservations I can say that despite our hardships and tough fate — we were warm inside because she was the fire! I’m sure all four of us would agree.
I remember going through rough and tough waves, can’t really tell if it was depression or something else but It’s still as clear to me today that at one point i felt that I had forgotten how to laugh, when to laugh, where to laugh. I’m not sure if you’re able to decipher this generalization of behavioral dilemma. In simple terms I meant to say I was f*cked!
Well, there are tons many ‘I remembers’ that brings me joy as I remember them and I wouldn’t change a thing of the past and the present.
It just swells my heart with utter sense of gratitude and humility to have come this far.
Namaste.